Friday, September 29, 2006
Yesterday, Children's Day celebrations were held. I was tasked to hand out yakult and files. I can still remember the ice cold water...the numbness of it all. It affected me in such a way that I wasn't able to type properly at all; missing out letters and all. Thankfully, such agonising numbness rarely persist. I would say that yesterday, I received a rather meaningful gift - to have a conversation with my Malay teacher. He taught me from p4 onwards and he has indeed helped to mould me a wee bit. Ok, I'm crapping. I won't even be able to pinpoint in what ways he has affected me but he sure has made an impact in my life.
He actually came in to escape the stifling heat outside. After guiding a child to narrate, we talked. And it's strange but somehow it seems like he know me better than most people. He knows where my interest lies, knows where my strengths are etc. Naturally, the topic was the path I took. It was a chance to just tell. He, like countless others, admitted he was shocked over my decision to take horti. I wonder, if I had indeed called him, would I have stayed? I know it's useless to think about the what ifs but it's a bit of a habit. Until today, I'm still thinking whether I should have gone against my mother's decision and go into RI. But then again, if I had done so, I wouldn't have met my sisters nor my brothers nor...oh what the heck.
He was able to understand me on levels that not many can grasp. Hearing about his nephew was akin to listening to a what if story of my life. But anyways, he came to a conclusion that I myself can't admit. As I listened, it dawned on me that it was indeed the truth. I've been feeling displaced, disoriented, like a sailor lost at sea, stranded on an island.
So yes, it was indeed nice to just talk, and let my thoughts stew. I haven't been doing my reflections (which WAS one of my goals for this year). Anyways, he gave me some advise and left me feeling somehow enlightened. Weird, I know. But it's the closest word I have for now.
Of course, later, we talked again and I found out that he took the path I once considered. (and still am). I just find it rather surprising that he's an English & Lit major and he's teaching Malay. I had always thought he took up Malay lit or something but nope. Oh, it was delightful to briefly talk about lit.
I still am undecided over the next step but one thing's for sure. I'm gonna get myself an A cert and take the SAT papers. All in due time of course.
I wonder why some people hold such deep seated animousity towards modern literature. Can't they realise that literature is not just about reading a book? That its very essense is of human nature itself? I don't understand why books, authors need to be banned. At the very least, can't the book only exist as a copy in the restricted section? And holy hell, I almost burst out loud when I found out that 12th Night was once banned, along with Black Beauty, The Giver and an assortement of other books. Sure, Sades De Marqui's graphic, oversexualised works are a tad disturbing but they shouldn't be restricted. Oh well. Thank heavens for the Internet. Here's to hoping we can recreate the modern Library of Alexandria!
Transmitted on 8:53 PM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Today was a day filled with excitement...not. Seriously, I rushed to school in record time (and paying a hefty price) to make it for the learning journey (which I was asked to go rather last min but it was ok)
Anyways, the visit was to the Kids Farm in Pasir Ris Farmway 1. It's located in an offbeaten, rather secluded place- where I used to buy my fishes from. It was rather tiring taking care of the class. Doesn't help that the class has a reputation.
I filmed them in the midst of 'longkang fishing'. To say that I was horrified at the entrance fee was an understatement. In my opinion, it wasn't worth it. Everything was already so clean; I had expected a more putrid smell but it was sorely lacking, particularly for a FARM. I mean come on, part of being on the farm is to experience the acrid smell of animal waste (I can still recall the smell of the Dairy Farm even though I went there when I was a mere K1 kid)
After fishing, they had this math trail. I fathomed the need to pay such an exorbitant fee- I mean come on, the kids could have just gone to the eco garden and do the same thing! Ok, so we no longer have a coop of chicken; nor ducks or a dignified gander, nor a pheasant nor albino mice. But at least we have terrapins, fishes and frogs and rabbits! Good enough for me.
Goodness, I wonder if children nowadays lack Omega 3 oil or something. They misplaced their works, their pencilcases, water bottles. Haiz...I felt like a walking lost and found counter. A price to pay for the free trip? I guess so...
The pet show however was rather interesting...who am I kidding? It was a mini petting zoo; although I finally touched a gerbil. Oh well. Overall, the trip was rather boring, compared to say the LJ to Botanic Gardens.
Sure, the kids enjoyed themselves but I question if they've learnt something. I'm just thankful I didn't manage to get the relief teacher post. haha. Next year perhaps...
Transmitted on 7:36 AM
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Lately, I've been pondering how long friendships may last. As much as I would like them to last a lifetime, it somehow seems like an unattainable dream. I will forever treasure the friendships we have but it just doesn't feel the same. It's like we're drifting, moving apart. I don't know if it hurts or not; there's this strange awkwardness when we meet, like we're two complete strangers. Try as we might, perhaps, it's time to admit, we no longer are as close as we once were; I barely know you now.
I guess starting on such a heavy note; I doubt writing down the past events will lighten the rather sombre mood now huh? But then again, I'm prone to mood swings so erm yeah. Screw 'em.
Went to town with a friend. Saw two Salvador Dali's works but couldn't find the Opera Gallery to see more works but we did manage to catch the etched glasses exhibition. He tried to persuade me to play pool but to no avail. We headed down to Marks & Spencers where I got this fantastic cookies. Then we had dinner at Delifrance Compass Point. Ok, so I skipped my meal entirely and just heeded straight for dessert.
The next day, went for Alumni meeting. I guess so far it's alright. I'm now an Associate Officer and possibly involved in the newsletter. It's weird that I can somehow feel comfortable with people who are older than me and yet I feel awkward amongst peers my age or younger. Other than my circle of friends, I actually find it tough to be able to relate to them- perhaps it's just one of the quirks that make me unique?
Headed to Geylang in the late afternoon to accompany my aunt, uncle and cousins before we have dinner with my family. Being in Geylang somehow unnerves me. The throngs of people coming in and out make me dizzy and sick. However, I question why I am able to enjoy, heck, I even revel in the Orchard Rd crowds. My cousin speculates that perhaps it's the types of people in the crowd that makes the different and I can't help but agree. I somehow don't feel comfortable mingling amongst a lot of people of my own race. Am I being a racist snob of sorts? Perhaps, I am indeed rejecting Malay as part of my identity. I rarely speak in Malay; I have difficulty expressing myself in my native tongue, much to the chagrin of my father. Bleh.
Today in Madrasah, being the first day of fasting and all, the atmosphere in the classroom was rather subdued- perhaps, the blown out fuse added to the mood. And yet, it slowly picked up. The topic taught today was how to treat visitors. It's a lame topic but hey, I don't mind. It was an eye-opener to know that some people find it offensive to watch tv when they're visiting. But as far as I can recall, when we do visit one another during the festive occasion, more often than not, visitors often converge to watch TV, occasionally speaking to one another. I learnt that some of them wanted more conversations but I question this. How much questions can one ask? I hate those types of forced conversations; I'd rather be silent than contribute a useless point. Other than that, I also learnt that most of my classmates do converse in Malay amongst themselves. I guess I belong to the other camp; the ones who converse heavily in English. Weird huh?
Osama is reported to have died. If so, I can't help but wonder about the repercussions of it. Will terrorism still reign? I guessing it may get more violent as cells split from one another, forming more unstable fractions groups, some more extremist than others. The news have reported that in Iraq, one group just killed many innocent woman and children on the holiest month in the Islamic calender. Such groups often align themselves as Islamic but their actions aren't; barbaric, even animalistic. It's as though all of them are pitting themselves against others to become this century's Nazis.
It's as though humans are on the path of self-destruction. Where the hell have people's moral compasses gone? Where has compassion, kindness, integrity, generousity etc have gone to? Did someone found another Pandora's box and released the contents? We live in a world where people seemingly have no qualms of killing one another based on differences of opinion, let alone colour, religion, sexuality etc. When will mankind wake up from their delusions and look at the destruction and chaos they have caused and will they realise that they're hurting one another, producing dangerous cycles of violence and intolerance, staining the ground red and black? Will they realise that as they are fighting, they are killing not just themselves but the world? This world is NOT ours. We're just taking care of it for the future generations. But if we continue this persistent shit, then will there even be anything left to stand on for the next generation?
Give peace a chance. (Now that Osama is gone, I pray that Bush will stop too.)
I wonder who will win the next elections...haiz...
Btw, did anyone watch Bridging Minds? Although I liked the new format, I can't help but wonder what happened to the debators of the top schools in Singapore? Did they not participate? It was rather embarassing to see that Brunei representatives were more articulate, more fluent and generally better than us.
And the IMF has officially ended and the prostitution is over. I can't help but imagine Singapore as this desperate woman who has put on excessive powdery make-up and dumped an entire bottle of perfume over her, dressed in the most extravagant haute couture clothes that looks plain tacky just to impress her visitors from afar. She smiles a tad too forcefully; itching for money. And now that her clients, I mean visitors have left, she's returned back to being the wallpaper that she is in the office, working diligently, with nary a smile. The rigid, stiff lipped woman is back, dressed in her usual grey pant suit, now working furiously away in the office. And no one notices her.
Transmitted on 7:04 AM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Pardon the excessive bimbotic speech but I NEED to get it out of my system.
like, totally omg. Did you totally see Project runway? Oh gawd...the clothes! Oh, they were oh so beautiful! Fantabulous! Oh, did you like see that all black collection? Whimpering for more! Like oh my god, i SO can't wait. Oh, oh, did you like totally see that effin hot menswear designer? Oh...oh...I can't wait. Like totally!Ok, so translated and editted:
Did anyone catch the premiere of Project Runway Season 3? I admit I was flipping channels between Miami & PR. Can't help it. Needed my fix of CSI now that NY and LV have ended. Anyways, I was enthralled looking at some of the beautiful collections by the aspiring contestants. Not all were exquisite but hey, I saw enough pretty clothes to make me want to rob a bank and buy new clothes.
Wait...isn't it better to just rob a fashion store? *looks around* Ok, the fashion store it is.*
I can't help it; Taureans love pretty things aka we're your materialistic sign. But we work/save for it so don't you call me a brat. I ain't got enough moolah to even get me to U for crying out loud. I'm digressing.
Back to the main issue. There were a couple of contestants that set my gaydar on fire. And others that just confused me. Damn metrosexuality - they're all starting to look the same to me. Heh. Still, people enjoy the eye candies!
Oh ya, there was this gorgeous black collection. If I were a woman and rich, I would've made the guy my personal fashion slave, i mean designer. But there was this michael guy who made this HOT menswear. I swore I almost got a mental orgasm just looking at them.
I however, loved the segment where we get reacquainted with all my fav season 1 designers- ok, so just role model Austin and divine Kara Saun. I'm just so happy for them! They're doing so well compared to the fat guy. What's the guy's name again? Hmm...
If Daniel V ever reveals where he shops, can someone PLEASE spread it to me? It's so hard to find clothes that look nice on thin people. Oh woe is me...if I ever model, I'll be kicked out from the runways of Milan for being too skinny! Oh woe is me...*sic*
Ok, so it's darn obvious I'm just crapping. Shall not waste valuable blog space. Has anyone read the news? The whole coup de tate (i can't be bothered to check up the correct spelling) issue in Thailand? Thaksin has proven himself to be more concerned about himself than his country; he actually left for London where he has a private residence there instead of returning home. I just pray that the Thai people get what they need- an able PM in the next two weeks.
However, I'm actually watching it closely; it seems to be reminiscent of pre-Nazi Germany minus the inflation of course. I'm crapping but ain't it obvious? I miss my history lessons. Yes, even the damn essays. And of course I miss the teachers, except one. I guess most ASS ppl should be able to guess who, in particular those who had the teacher for SS and hist. haha.
So yeah, no Bangkok for my sis this year. Damn it, those cheep (diff from cheap, like one rung lower) things aren't within my reach. Kind of amuses me to see the people just casually walk around and pass yellow flowers to the soldiers. If I were to do that last sunday when there were a ton of guys in dark blue uniform, i think i would have been shot or something. But damn them. Tight pants make me want to scream "UNFAIR". I mean come on, i want a tight firm butt but it's like all encompassing. ARGH. I feel fat.
Ok, so yeah, on top of Thailand's current political uprising, there's Taiwan's escalating protest for Chen to step down. Oh and Hungarians are out on the streets. But one of the more worrying news is the fact that Merkel's party seems to be losing to the Neo-Nazis. And please, please I pray HARD America chooses the correct leader this time. I just can't stand Bush. I really can't.
The world is just so darn screwed up now, I'm now actually worried I won't live past 21.
Transmitted on 8:49 AM
Saturday, September 16, 2006
It's been a rather long ardous week of waiting. And finally I got my results. Admittedly, just waiting for the page to load freaked me out. (Gawd, I REALLY need to relax. I remember before the O level release, I vomitted out of a potent mix of fear, trepidation and what have you). Anyways, I did rather well except in one damn subject I thought I could have scored better in. Oh well. At least I can say I'm a half decent florist- I actually got a B considering the fact that I've screwed plenty of the projects before and often the last to go.
So let's see, I have about 7 days before fasting starts. Strangely, it seems rather short. Oh well. It's that 2nd half of the year; no surprise.
Oh yes, I've been wanting to post about this disturbing(at least to me) hallmark movie, "Good Fences". I haven't had a clue what it was about (since I was channel surfing) but from what I could roughly grasp, an African-American woman wins the lottery and moves into this posh, white surburbia where only one black family lives (Screw being politically correct for the moment- taking too long to type). Anyways, the black father isn't particularly pleased with the black woman moving in next to them (kind of ironic). The black lottery winner
Now I shall come to the disturbing part- it was like looking at a mirror for me. Enough said. Certainly scares me a bit. I can't say more lest I get locked up or something. Damn ISA.
i went grocery shopping yesterday and well, spied upon the new Twisties range of International Flavors. so here's my verdict:
Tandoori chicken flavor is reminiscent of bbq curry; albeit slightly less overpowering. In my opinion, it was like buying a mild version of the latter.
The Salmon teriyaki taste was rather novel. Yes, you can taste the fishiness yet it's not so overbearing that it makes you worry about your breath nor is the taste so mild, you can barely taste it. And yes, the teriyaki taste just complements it. Made me grab for more as I got a hankering for the salmon taste after the first taste just so I could somehow remember it. The taste is rather forgettable but in a good way.
And thus I am on a hunt to find for the other flavours. All you snack inspectors out there; do be wary; it comes at a rather hefty price of S$ 1.65. (Hey, i ain't working you know...)
Transmitted on 6:37 AM
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
This past few days, nothing major has occurred other than my grandmother's maid celebrating her birthday, Me missing John Little Sale (for the um...let' s just say I've missed so many sales for so long, I stopped counting?), having my 100th post *beams* AND updating my stories and poems.
I feel so productive sometimes. Ok, I'm lying. I'm trying to convince myself that I have plenty of things to do when I don't. I want to go about town and see the various newly isntalled Dali works, he's one of my favourite artist BUT there's the issue with me being a back up tutor for my neighbours (they come as and when they feel like it since it's free) AND for my sister. Haiz.
I feel rather restless but the mere thought of stepping out of the house just tires me. Kind of weird huh?
I hope Jules reads this:
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CONTACT ME SO WE CAN LUNCH?!
Ok. Time to start writing more. I can't believe I wrote like 3, 4 chapters during the hols! At this rate, I'm finishing with the story as soon as school starts. Which actually is a good thing considering I'll be fasting then.
I've been so free (as apparent as my random babbles above) that I've looked through my pathetic CD/VCD collections. Most, if not all my game CDs are unusable. The VCDs however...
I popped the Boyzone one in. Oh god. I didn't expect to laugh so much watching the videos.
Oh god. The 1990s were a horrific period where people had terrible hair and gaudy clothes. And people listened to such songs! Now I really am starting to feel old. Yikes.
The few highlights have been getting my hands on Michael Buble's It's Time album AND LOTR: Return of the King AND Notebook OST.
If anything interesting happens (which I doubt), I'll blog. If not, well, don't bother visitting because I won't be blogging as regularly as I used to.
By the way, anyone seen Suri Cruise? Goodness. I don't understand why they named her that. It's so reminiscent of "Star Cruise". And she so totally doesn't look like theirs; the babe's rather asian looking. And the release was just too perfectly timed, considering the nutcase got dropped by Paramount.
Ok. I'm seriously loosing it. I better stop. Goodbye!
Transmitted on 12:20 AM
Monday, September 11, 2006
For whom the bells tollSept 11. Five years ago, this was just another date on the calender. Another day to get back to work, an entire day to plan for. Those in the air rejoiced as some waited to touch homesoil and kiss their loved ones. It's been too long. No one, except a handful knew of the impending doom the world was to face. The entire act committed out of misplaced beliefs took mere minutes- the towers came crashing down one day. And in that moment, the world was changed forever.
Where once the mighty structures stood tall and proud, reaching up to the skies, a symbol of the country's pride and success therein lies a gaping hole. A void, like the ones in the hearts of many. Ground Zero. The resting place of many- their stories left untold. Photos taken have been hidden, collectively concluded to be taboo.
Sept 11. That day the world changed forever. In a couple of hours' time, as we listen to a President, we mark the senseless loss of lives. Shouldn't it have been a day of reckoning? A day of reflection? Yet I look at the world today and I weep. We have barely learnt the lessons we stood to gain that day as thousands continue to stain our Mother red. The preps are still free, spreading their miguided views of jihad, corrupting the minds of impressionable others.
Sept 11 marked the end of the world as we knew it; a world where people saw beyond the colour of our skin, beyond our religion, beyond the names gifted to us. Sept 11 heralded the start of a war with no end in sight.
For whom the bells toll.
My brethen, cease the fights.
Remember the Fallen.
Let not their lives be in vain
They died so we could live
So let's work together
And give peace a chance.
_______________________
Give Peace A Chance by John Lennon.
Two, one two three four
Ev'rybody's talking about
Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism
This-ism, that-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
C'mon
Ev'rybody's talking about Ministers,
Sinisters, Banisters and canisters
Bishops and Fishops and Rabbis and Pop eyes,
And bye bye, bye byes.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
Let me tell you now
Ev'rybody's talking about
Revolution, evolution, masturbation,
flagellation, regulation, integrations,
meditations, United Nations,
Congratulations.
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
Ev'rybody's talking about
John and Yoko, Timmy Leary, Rosemary,
Tommy Smothers, Bobby Dylan, Tommy Cooper,
Derek Taylor, Norman Mailer,
Alan Ginsberg, Hare Krishna,
Hare, Hare Krishna
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
(My 100th post- dedicated to the fallen of Sept 11. May the misguided fools rot in hell.)
Transmitted on 12:56 AM
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
I have been severely neglecting my blog huh? So many things have happened in the span of just a few days that it's a reminder that the train has left the station.
The world was terribly shocked when the death of the famous (or infamous) conservationist, Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter was reported. While some people are staring to realise that this time, it's really the end, (considering that there had been reports a couple of years earlier of him dying as a result of a beetle, etc.), most of the world seemed to reflect on what a great man he was. Considering that he helped to bring the conservation message across to millions, his passing has been likened to Princess Diana's.
Goodbye Steve. You were a great man. I shall miss you. My condolences to Terri, Sue and Ben.
I don't know how one will be able to break the news to Sue and Ben; it's too heart-wrenching in my opinion to tell an 8 and a 3 year old child that their dad is gone. The world has lost a great man but we must remember the message he brought forth: Protect the environment, conserve wildlife.
In other more positive news, Japan has a newborn prince. Congrats. (Although I was hoping that a female could be able to descend the Chrysanthemum Throne)
In the past few days, I have tried to sign up as a relief teacher but I've been facing problems. Now, I've lost the password but I won't give up.
I have been watching the last few minutes of Grey's Anatomy Season 2 repeatedly. It's extremely shocking and sad. I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't watched it but I must tell you to expect the tears.
I'm now hooked listening to chasing cars by snow patrol, the song that was used for the final episode. It's just beautiful. I can't describe it.
The zoo outing with my classmates was cancelled, much to the chagrin of several people. But I kind of expected it. Thank you 4/4 for teaching me life lessons.
I haven't even touched a book yet. It's horrendous. I'm wittling my time away clicking my mouse every few seconds to play an online game.
Sims 2 Pets is terribly exciting but I won't be able to play it due to my poor graphic cards and my damn corrupted Sims 2 CD.
Oh well. I just pray that my juices will start to flow. It's better to write than to
waste time chasing cars...
Transmitted on 8:09 PM
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Today started out as a day full of misses and later turned to a night of well, tragic comedy, ok, so more me grilling our dear precious ZK. Sorry hun!
Ok, to start things of, I was actually almost late for my meeting in my pri sch. Supposed to meet the principal at nine but the damn bus refused to come. So it turned out to be a very very expensive trip. (ok, so it cost me five bucks. Expensive nonetheless)
Turns out that now I'm an Alumni member (without prior registration- will fill in the form later)
AND possibly an Exco member. Anyways, I learned several new things about my sch. 60 years of history you know...I seriously think that we should set up a heritage room soon. Come on, so many changes have been made from the way registrations were handled; My admission was written manually. This cont. until the batch after me. Proves how dedicated teachers are huh? Then things went online.
To the uniform, like DUH. I've seen the sketch before. Quite cute.
To the sch song.
To the sch's mission and vision.
And I left, feeling like I have indeed played a part of the sch's legacy and now it was time to return back to my roots. So, I appeal to EX- JSPS students, do join the JSPS Alumni. (More info at Jsps webbie)
Anyways, after the discussion (which actually lasted till noon) I headed to Vj for the Family Three Event. Bryan, great job! It was relatively fun but I must say things were a tad expensive.
So in the end, I just stayed at the Concourse, helping Chee Seng, ZhiRong, Jiahao Lee sell Bandung, magnets and shoebags. :) Great fun! Topped off with meeting familiar faces (though names elude me. I'm terrible huh?) AND to just talk and talk with my beloved sis Shiyun! Kuanjie came later with ZK. Waited so long for them!
Then the lucky draw was truly fun! So many misses, particularly one concerning the motorola hp. Oh well, not my luck. I won't try it again lah but if it's for a socially responsible cause, I shall.
Then headed for late lunch with Zk and Shiyun. I will NEVER, EVER play ZK's game of random numbers. We circled the fountain of wealth's shops TWICE, only to end up at KFC. I miss talking with them, ok, so I just miss everyone I've talked to in And. Nostalgia's sake maybe?
Headed off to TOYS R US where we discovered ZK's ability to forget plenty of events in And. He forgot so many teachers and worse of all, his unique and wondrous presents. Haiz...ZK, I shall buy for you fish oil for your bdae ya? :)
Finally headed home. My feets are now aching. Need to apply for relief teaching position even though I know I will get rejected. Btw, 1g03, sept 5, meet at AMK MRT station at 11- We're zoo bound.
Transmitted on 6:57 AM
