Eternal torment: The Search

Monday, June 26, 2006

Hey. Ok, so I'm actually back in my primary school. Surprised? Ha, you've guessed it. I ain't got school today. Tomorrow is the start, all over again.

This two weeks break have been nothing short of busy- sort of. I've completed most of my projects; am especially proud about my landscape design colouring (I've been bad at colours since for as long as i can remember), read two books (none of which are new. I seriously need to kickstart my drive again), participated in Famine Camp (Now, that was fun!), had a BBQ (thanks to Liesel. So who's next to organise?) and went to catch Silent Hill with some of my new classmates. I guess this feeling of "new beginnings" have yet to sunk. Everything seems to be oh so bright and cheery, it seems surreal. Get me a ticket to real life quick.

Anyways, I have completed the JSPS PSG website. Check it out and tell me if it sucks. Be brutally honest. I know it shows my lack of web designing skills but I need to know if any improvements need to be made.

http://sg.geocities.com/jspspsg

Finished keying in data. Truly, I'm getting worried about some of them. I just hope that they will do better in the months to come.

Oh, oh, (insert bimbotic scream). I just met one of my favourite male primary school teachers. Haha. Spent like 2 mins talking to him? I wish we could talk more but hey, there's always Hari Raya (although I swear, I won't go again. So Ulu). So yeah.

He however has lost track of time. He thinks I'm taking my O's! Haha. When I told him I'm in poly, I was battling with conflicting emotions. On one hand, the elitist in me is dreadfully and painfully embarassed (too mild a term) to say that I'm in poly. On the other, it wasn't a sense of accomplishment but rather a sense of closure (kind of. I'm bad at describing this!). I know it's so condescending to even think that poly is of a lower standard than Jc but somehow, a part of me agrees. It just seems so lax, so liberating that it kind of unsettles me. It's unfair to compare the two because each have their own strengths and weaknesses. Still, I don't know, I feel that now that the amount of pressure is greatly reduced, life feels somehow more boring?

Ah, the perils of one whose work once occupied his life. Now that the piles are gone, what could I do with all the extra time?

I shall study. Yes...I shall study, some other time. (Go procrastination!)

I'm beginning to enjoy Sunday classes. It's turning out to be like Philosophy 101- except you HAVE to give the stupid textbook answers. Still, it has provoked me to think harder. If it is to be believed that all things in life were pre-determined, then why do we strive to succeed?

I'm still figuring the answer out. I KNOW I'll give up and move on to simpler topics but somehow it feel wrong. That God decides what we actually do. I mean, if everything is already determined, like what food we'll eat, what religion we'll practise etc, then why the hell do sins exists? I mean God could have made us righteous, religious sticks up our asses but somehow,
I believe that Free Will plays a great role in life. We choose what we do and ultimately, we reap what we sow.

So there. My take. Ha! Free Will vs God. Who will win?

Goodness, I think I just had a deja-vu! (yays! insert bimbo applause)

Transmitted on 1:12 AM

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